New Creature

May 13, 2014

I probably spend the majority of my alone time either a) narrating what I am doing in my head like I am a character in a film/novel, b) writing short stories, and c) thinking about the person that I want to be. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that most of the other shy-bookworm-children out there also grew up imagining new characters or imagining themselves as a different person. It's what we do.

In adulthood, when I think of reinvention, it isn't that I'm a character with super powers, or that I'm impatiently waiting for an eligible husband in Victorian England (well, sometimes it is) - I'm just me, but a better version; a kinder, more thoughtful, less selfish, less judgmental version of me. Though, sometimes becoming that seems just as outlandish as being a fictional character in a story. Change is hard!

Side note: On the topic of change: Nothing beats a brand new hair do to kickstart reinventing yourself (courtesy of an Aveda cut/colour competition).

I would be lying if I said I hadn't lost a good amount of sleep, and cried a good number of tears over myself in the past. I've almost fallen to pieces when someone has pointed out a flaw that I've been self-consciously working on changing for months, or has belittled a change that I've thoughtfully made. But I've had to realize that there will always be hurdles; no pebble became smooth without a bit of resistance from the sea. (Or something like that. I've never been good at metaphors, and I can't be bothered to change that, too.)

I often find myself turning to this scripture:
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 
― Corinthians 5:17

I have seen the most miraculous changes when heart's have been softened to the Lord, and I find the resistance against change lessens when I am humbled and in tune with God. And I am thankful that, even in all my imperfections, I feel God's love daily, and I know that with His aid, change is possible.

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